GHOST SHIP

Synopsis:

A mix up puts a secret treasure map into the hands of seven adventurous kids-who set out to turn their boring high school rock collecting trip into a quest for a mysterious lost pirate ship. These lucky kids discover a tunnel in the desert leading to the buried ship! But they must face awesome odds before their booty is secure. While they may be one step closer to finding the pirate ship, they are not the only ones looking for its lost treasure. Two strangers from China, a crazy hermit who thinks he was once a member of the crew and a wild camel bearing a skeletonized rider are all on the trail of the pirate ship as well. Who'll get to it first? After watching it, you'll be able to exclaim…who cares! Have you ever watched a PBS program entitled "DeGrassi Junior High"? Well, if you have, you've already seen this movie a billion times. Just take horny young kids...Read the entire review

Slashers nowadays are kind of a bore. For all the constant winking at the audience and innumerable references to gorefests of yesteryear, it's almost as if the filmmakers are wearing a kevlar condom -- going through all the motions without any of the feeling. Still, the Decade of Excess churned out enough of the good stuff to mine for seemingly forever, and "Slaughterhouse", the first release from Program Power's cult horror imprint Lucky 13, is one of those easily-overlooked, gruesome little gems, spiffed up and given new life on everyone's favorite mass-market digital home video format.

When ol' Lester Bacon discovers his pig-boy son Buddy has the rotting corpses of two teenagers who disturbed his beloved pet swine suspended from meathooks in the run-down family slaughterhouse, a way to get revenge on those conspiring to sieze Les' home, former business, and land becomes a little too evident...Read the entire review

When a friendly neighborhood mortician reveals that he's been feeding bits and pieces of his cadaverous clientele to three ghoulish children, the befuddled authorities turn to a local psychic for some sort of explanation. The corpses don't seem to be quite as animated as Mr. Chen suggested, though when hunger sets in, they turn their sights towards the investigators, along with the victim of a failed suicide, a hippie coroner (Norman Fell), his entirely-unpleasant supervisor (Phyllis Diller), and her beloved pet poodle.

The thought of the flesh-eating undead, a hideously deformed poodle of superhuman size and strength, and a rampaging mutant Phyllis Diller colliding in 93 minutes of campy celluloid goodness had me salivating. "The Boneyard" turned out to be surprisingly dull, making the same mistake as numerous micro-budget horror flicks before it, spending far, far too much time on the set-up...Read the entire review